Americans’ Ridiculous Zest for Life

Everybody gathered round waiting for the momentous occasion of opening the box. The man opened the box and the animals attacked.

You know how Americans are super loud and annoying? Well, I’ve come to the conclusion that they just love life and you know what, that’s kind of refreshing. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the screeching that comes along with the American accent will be the death of me but they have this weird zest for life that frankly I’m just jealous of.

This all started when I went to my residence hall’s boat party in San Francisco. It was an end of year semi-formal event with students from all residence halls. Get this though, NO ALCOHOL. They made it very clear that no alcohol would be served on the boat, no one would be allowed on the bus if they had drunk alcohol and all bags would be checked for alcohol. All in all, I won’t lie, the night was pretty dead for me. It was like being back at a school disco– awkward dancing, children pretending to be adults, atrocious kissing. Seriously, I saw two people who were just holding their mouths against one another for ages, no movement, no passion, no love. But you know what, good for them, they were happy. That’s the thing, everybody was having fun because they didn’t care about anybody else. I needed alcohol to be fun, what does that say about me? That’s pretty sad. My parents have drilled it into me that if someone doesn’t like what they see then they can look the other way; I should really start listening to that.

The beginning of the night when I thought it was going to be fun…

It’s not just the way they seem to be more carefree, they just love celebrating everything; BIGGER AND BETTER. Take 420 for example. Sorry, what? That’s not even a real holiday and it got so much attention here. Classes were cancelled, people skipped class (including me because I’m cool and rebellious). I just wanted to see what the big fuss was about. Hundreds of students gathered on a grass area on campus called Memorial Glade. There were food stands, ready and waiting and I shit you not, at 4:20pm, everybody blaaaaazed on the glaaaade. Everyone was SO happy… mad.



The gladeeeeeeeeeee @ 4:20pm

A few days later and it was the infamous Cal Day that I had been warned about. In short, Cal Day is basically an open day for prospective students. For current students it is an opportunity to drink for the whole day whilst adopting copious amounts of school spirit. Everybody in sight was wearing Cal gear, from Cal temporary tattoos to Cal pinstriped dungarees. I won’t lie, it was really funny. Everybody was just going crazy and it felt like exactly what I thought a frat party would be like when I first came here. It was like something out of a film. Inflatable slides, kegs, people posing for pictures with empty champagne bottles… (??????) At one point, a guy brought out a box of beer to the bar and the anticipation was real. Everybody gathered round waiting for the momentous occasion of opening the box. The man opened the box and the animals attacked. The beers were gone in two seconds; it was like animals at the watering hole during feeding time. I love it.

What a fucking lad.

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Calday came to a close, I got some Chinese food and napped for three hours; I regret nothing. An unnecessary celebration but a celebration nonetheless. That’s my point, Americans just love to celebrate everything but with no shame about the excess to which they do. Take this weekend for example, my residence hall is hosting a carnival with photo booths, bouncy castles, games etc. For literally no reason???? What I’m trying to say is, yes, Americans may have this weird zest for life but you know what, if I could have even the smallest fraction of that, I’d be ten times happier.

Author: Just Jenny Lamb

21-year-old writer giving you that witty prose with a dash of Essex sass.

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