Miami: how all our nights ended up in strip clubs

Sooooo, how did I end up seeing two girls clap their arse cheeks together whilst two men placed dollar bills in their thongs I hear you ask????? ?? ?? ?

Read on to find out!

Boys and girls, it has been more than a hot second since I last gifted you with one of these but the time felt right to pick up the ol’ blog again with MIAMI BABYYYYYY. 

I can honestly say that Miami is unlike any other place I’ve been to in the sense that I’ve never seen so many strippers in my life. To sum up in 3 words Miami is all about: sun, sex and show.

Sooooo, how did I end up seeing two girls clap their arse cheeks together whilst two men placed dollar bills in their thongs I hear you ask????? ?? ?? ?

Think the club would sue me if I showed you guys the full video…

Let’s roll it back to the beginning of our trip as I take you on a journey of discovery (much like myself at the time) as we find out why innocent Jen ended up spending a good 80% of her nights out in strip clubs.

Day 1: the group had such high hopes for a pleasant flight but being the tight bastards we are only booked ‘light economy’ – what even is that? 

I’ll tell you what it is, an absolute shit show. With a transit time of less than 2 hours, we almost missed our connecting flight despite sprinting through the airport.

Actually, sorry, change that, more like thudding through the airport like the unfit hippos we are. 

AND to top it all off, American Airlines lost our bags despite us picking them up in Orlando and transferring them over.

The moment we realised we weren’t getting the bags anytime soon

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. We’d made it to MIAMI BABYYYY but we were also having to listen to a fucking moron at the airport try to tell us that one bag was in Charlottesville, another in Heathrow and another just gone, forever – tip. of. the. iceberg.

Day 2: Group morale was down. No one had showered, no one had clean underwear and I can confirm, no one was expecting to end up in a strip club that night but OH don’t we treat ourselves.

Ready for the strippers amirite

The club: E11even

The vibe: boobs and noons

The night started as any girls night out does, with a bottle of 12.5% wine and a solitary tequila shot. We headed to a speakeasy to pre and shortly after paying $50 for 3 drinks proceeded to hit up the nearest ‘liquor store’ and buy 3 four lokos only to drink from paper bags on the street — classy broads. 

If you don’t know what four loko is, get to know; it can kill a bitch.

So whilst we’re all on our way to the sweet release of death, we hop in an uber to the super club we’ve been hearing mumblings about, E11even.

I shit you not we queued up for an hour straight all whilst absolutely butters 40 year old women were getting let in, no doubt, by some bald bouncer looking for a good time.

We all aggressively entered the club and at first sight it seemed like any other Mayfair, bouji establishment. We decided to explore and as we delved in further, we realised we were perhaps not on the gals’ night we had expected.

Here is how Google describes your one and only super club:

‘Energetic, neon-lit night spot with trapeze dancers, burlesque shows, DJs & live music performances.’

Seems safe, no? Nada. 

Not really sure how it went from this to about a million strippers?

Towards the back of the club was a raised circular stage, littered with poles and half naked girls. We walked through the crowd, who were all gathered in awe and it kind of felt like an open zoo but with beautiful women and scantily dressed amazing bods that frankly, we were also in awe of.

Feeling uncomfortable being so close to the action we decided to strut ourselves up to the balcony to watch from afar. The balcony had multiple vip tables, which as you would expect were full of sleazy old men. Did that stop us from joining them? Absolutely not.

Please babes, please

We ended up on a table celebrating a geeza’s 50th whilst one had the overwhelming confidence and too much cash to spend on propositioning a 23 year old to sleep with him all because they’d got a bottle they spent half the year saving up for. 

Imagine, a literal old man repeating the words ‘I want to have sex with you’ to a young woman half his age on repeat for hours…

Grow up or just die already babe.

After breaking my heels on the long stairway down, I proceeded to walk bare foot out of the club and hop into an Uber which carried your 3 princesses away to bed.

3 princesses OR
3 whales – you decide

Day 3: Morning came with a lot of vomiting involved, lot of sun involved, lot of regret involved.

Were we willing to head back out on the town? No. Were we willing to spend all day at the beach getting burnt? Yes.

Turns out if you get your bum out at the beach, promoters FLOCK to you.

Shoutout to my boys Andrew and Dimitri. We decided to take up Andrew on his proposition for the following evening in a club called Mokai as he seemed like the most normal out of the two, WRONG — please read on to see.

Maybe don’t get with a promoter lads

Day 4: Time for our second night out in MIAMI BABYYY. 

As Will Smith so eloquently put it in his literary masterpiece, Miami: ‘Ladies half dressed, fully equipped’.

Bloody hell, yes, fully equipped they were. Walked in to a rather empty club to be struck by a goddess on a pole.


“Ffs girls, we’re in another strip club”. You got it.

Girl power xoxo

Whilst not actually a strip club per-say, it was more than ya gal with wings and a bra in sugar hut on a Saturday night, let’s just put it that way.

As the club got busier smoke filled the air as people were lighting cigs left, right and centre. A man straddling a woman on the table next to us. Free flowing alcohol turning angels into bitches gone wild. 

Anything goes in Miami. Everything is centred around bodies, sex, alcohol and a general haze of phoney-ness quite unmatched by any other place.

So happy to be with my lips shaped urinal

Day 5: nothing noteworthy

Day 6: the girls engaged in a wholesome activity, saw some gators, had some bevs, I won’t bore you


Day 7: your favourite girls leave Miami to head down to the Keys in a white mustang like the basic bitches we are.

Get in loser, we’re going shopping

Miami had gifted us with strippers, hangovers and a loss of dignity so we thought we’d regain it by spending the weekend away in a more wholesome place.

Fed some fish, did some snorkelling, rested up and awoke the next day feeling refreshed for a relaxingggggg timeeee awayyyyyy.

Bloody birds

Day 8: fast forward to our first night in Key West and I fucking died.

Oh, AND guess what, I ended up in a strip club AGAIN with a man named Erik from Tampa. What is up with Florida and strip clubs? Like seriously, wtf?

If you’ve ever been to New Orleans, Key West is kind of like that vibe. It’s full of old people who look like they’ve only just discovered their youth late in life and are looking to get absolutely sloshed away from the kids.

So wholesome

You’d think it sounds kinda wholesome, drama free, good old time but jesus, the drama never ends.

Got myself into a messy situation didn’t I, involving a country singer, a mistress and a girlfriend pregnant with triplets — wild.

Long story short, we started our evening in a bar listening to a very talented country singer. We invited said singer to join us on our night out to which he came. 

A kind, innocent gesture as we enquired who the woman on his background was. He told us she was no one, that he didn’t have a girlfriend but he did have a pregnant ex girlfriend having his triplets who he was going to co-parent in the near future. Tbh, no one really cared and he slinked his way off when he realised shooting his shot had failed.

Didn’t think anything of it UNTIL I received these messages:

Had to respond
Ok, now stop pls
Smarter than I hahaha

Day 9: a tame day spent people watching, wandering round Ernest Hemingway’s house and returning to the same bar where I actually met the love of my life but that’s a story for another time.

Literature student in Hemingway’s house, shocker

Day 10: the time had come to say goodbye and good riddance to strippers. You know what though, Miami was jokes. Unique vibe and everybody just wants to live the dream babyyyy. 

Amidst the naked women, sleazy old men and creepy promoters is a place where people just wanna have a goooood time. 

So, soak up the sun, drink some cocktails and just let Miami take you on its wild ride.

In a bit x o

How’s the back treating you babe?
Don’t even think about it hun
You kill it, we grill it
“Do not use the pool if you are ill with diarrhoea”

Every Type Of Boy You’ll Find On Hinge

A run down of every type of boy you’ll find on the dating app, Hinge.

From freaks to fitties, check the list out. Remind you of anyone?

HELLO pals, haters, dad (I know you’re reading this). I’m back with an ultimate run down of all the boys you’ll find on Hinge. Guaranteed if you have Hinge, you’ll know what I’m talking about but, for those of you who don’t have Hinge and don’t know what it is, lemme explain it real quick. 

Hinge is essentially the best dating app going at the moment, Tinder is for hook-ups, Bumble is boring so here we are at a nice middle ground, Hinge. The quality of people is much better and the app allows you to answer questions about yourself on your profile so that someone could respond to one as a conversation starter. 

You can see all the people who either like your pictures or comment on your profile answers and decide whether you want to match with them and continue the conversation. Easy enough, right? 

So, after weeks of having and using Hinge (so much so that they upgraded me to a ‘preferred member’ for free for some reason) I have whittled the men on there into 10 categories. Enjoy xo

1. The one from the Home County

Hinge profile man jumping over horse
Certainly conveyed in that pic babes

We’ll start with the nice, easy one – the home county boy, which is basically every. single. boy. on. Hinge. They LOVE to ski and when I say LOVE I mean they literally have no other pics other than those from that one time at aprés.

They probably work in finance or some other dull job in the city and spend all they can on cocktails on a roof with a bit of fake grass or they’re saving for their next trip to Val-d’Isère, did I mention they ski?

Is that surprising Freddie? 1. You’re called Freddie 2. You went to Durham and 3. You live in Pimlico

2. The one who’s mature

You’ve read that headline thinking I’m going to talk about someone who thinks they’re super mature and up themselves but when I say mature I literally mean an old man.

Meet my main man, Pejman. I mean… he’s clearly not 25, is he? There’s a difference between exaggerating on your profile and just being an outright predator. Likeeeeee who do I report this to?

3. The one who’s a rugby lad


Yes, my friends, you all know what’s coming. They have tons of rugby pics, coulda been pro but had an injury and spend every weekend down in Infernos – ironically, of course. 

They probably will have alright chat but will blend into every other rugby lad on the app. They’re fit so you give them the benefit of the doubt despite being unoriginal. Wouldn’t say no tho…

4. The one who is a recruiter and a recruiter only

If you thought the term basic bitch only applied to females, you’re wrong. The recruiter is THE most basic boy on the app. He’s got an average profile, average chat and average pics.

They ‘geek out’ on Marvel, Game of Thrones or Harry Potter. Yes… just like every other person in the world. 

His friends would describe him as ‘nice’ but ultimately he’s very vanilla. There will be times when some quick quips will make you question your initial thoughts but then he’ll bring it back to a ‘come mine’ or ‘you up’ text and you’ll realise he is just THAT basic and THAT average. 

Strong effort

5. The one who lives at the gym

This guy LOVES himself because I mean, frankly, no one else does. His profile will be full of either sex jokes or simply a checklist of what he doesn’t want in a girl. Ok, mate, calm down, just because you sweat from your arse on a regular basis doesn’t mean it’s lubricated enough for people to climb up it.

The gym is the playground for his dreams. Nothing beats fitness. He works hard so that you can keep those hands manicured hunny, so you can keep those meals a-coming, so you can stay in the kitchen babe…. you get the idea.

6. The one who thinks he’s a model

This guy has got ZERO chat. You initially matched because you thought, yeah, I deserve a fitty but nah. He thinks he can cruise by on his looks and tbf he probably can for some girls but NO. Don’t get sucked in babe.

Every pic on his profile is either a professional headshot or portrait mode on an iPhone. He’s so self-indulged that he can’t even see when he’s outright insulting you… see below.

‘Didn’t find it funny’ ???? Are you dumb?????

7. The one whose life revolves around politics

Their profile explicitly states ‘No Tories’. They hate everyone and everything and think they hold some kind of attractiveness due to their ‘mystery’. What I mean by this is that they’re brooding, they’re cynical and they’re sarcastic. Every girl’s dream !! !

They’ve got a problem with mummy and daddy being conservatives so lash out any way they can but they still enjoy the home comforts of a cafetiere and the annual ski trip. Oh yeah, these ones still ski too.

8. The one who’s still living in 2012

It’s summer, Jason Derulo’s Ridin’ Solo has come out and is being blue toothed to every Nokia brick in the vicinity. Boys are wearing t-shirts with Rihanna’s face on with their signature beige chinos.

This is where this guy is living. He’s not quite let go of the good times from 7 years ago, he doesn’t understand social media etiquette and he’s still posting pics of his car in the hope of landing a girl. 

He puts an ‘x’ at the end of every text message, comment, status etc. and to make things worse, he can’t go two minutes without saying ‘haha’ or ‘lol’ followed by a laughing crying face. What is this?

9. The one with the inappropriate jokes

Now I’m not a prude but I just don’t find sexual jokes funny. This guy is the type of guy who will tell you, you’ve got no banter just because you don’t find sexism or general shit chat funny.

He belongs in the depths of Tinder sending away his dick pics and spends every moment wondering why he’s not getting that sweet p*$$y on Hinge. Get outta here.

10. The one who’s actually funny

Now, once in a while you sift through all of the above and you find a gem. He’s good looking, his answers are funny and conversation flows. A rarity but it can happen.

He’s the golden boy who’s actually nice, funny and fit and you can tell all his mates love him. You’ll probably meet up with him if it weren’t for all the horror stories of dating apps but you never know, watch this space.

Enjoyed the blog? Do me a solid and like the Facebook page for more ridiculous dating stories:

Facebook not your thing? Keep up on Insta too:

Scroll down for more entertaining profiles. Let me know what you want my next blog to be. In a bit xo

Sex Confessions from the Red Light District

Real Sex Confessions from Amsterdam’s Red Light District.

Read to find out people’s dirtiest secrets.

What you doing here ya cheeky bastards? Ready and waiting for this racy blog that’s what. Pure filth but I mean same. I would have clicked on this link too.

SEX: a taboo topic but apparently not in Amsterdam and not on JustJennyLamb, aren’t you lucky. So yes, bla bla bla I went to Amsterdam and I mean, who hasn’t been? The difference is I went with my mum (LOL) and we went to the Red Light District and sourced some sex confessions.

Turns out the Dutch are pretty liberal when it comes to prostitution. Now I’m sure many of you know about the infamous windows in the Red Light District but those of you who don’t lemme give you a quick run down before we get to the good stuff in this blog – Top 10 Sex Confessions from the Red Light District.

Red Light District Background

Former office used for rental of prostitution rooms in Amsterdam Red Light District. Red Light Secrets Museum.
Former office used for the rental of prostitution rooms in Amsterdam

Prostitution is legal in The Netherlands and has been since 2000. Funny enough that is the same number of condoms that a Dutch prostitute is estimated to go through every year. Times that by 100 and you’ll have the number of men who visit a prostitute in the Netherlands each year.

Girls enlist the help of one of the windows that line the streets of the district by posing in their underwear to attract the attention of passers-by. If someone sees a girl they like, they knock on the adjacent door and discuss a service. Rental price for one of these windows is around €150 per 10h shift with an average start price for each customer being €50. AND get this, guess how much an average session lasts… 6 MINUTES! ! €50 for 6 minutes? ! ? Literally get that for free from any gal down CTZN on a Friday night son.

So yes, me and my mum did go to the Red Light District but for EDUCATIONAL REASONS. There’s a museum called Red Light Secrets and you know what, it’s actually very interesting so if you’re in town check it out.

Woman holding mask in Red Light Secrets Museum.
MY MUM – not sure you’ve got the job hun hahaha

Anyway, the museum is home to a wall covered in confessionals written by visitors AND let me tell you, there are some fucking weird people out there, I’ll give you that. From shitting fetishes to steamy affairs, here’s a run down of my personal top 10 sex confessions from the Red Light District:

Top 10 Sex Confessions from the Red Light District, Amsterdam

1. The first time I had sex, I tried giving head using toothpaste & nearly died from a burning tongue. He washed his dick in the sink in pain.

– Anon. California

I mean, fair. Girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

Sex confession from Amsterdam Red Light District in Red Light Secrets Museum.
Just to prove to you, these are all very real confessions.

2. It really turns me on when people watch me going to the toilet, especially if I’m taking a poo! :O



Confused but not surprised. Also, why is this person apparently 14, ‘poo’ ‘#iloveit’ what u on hun?

3. I once walked in on my sister wanking off the family dog.


Fucking hell, you need Jesus.

Travel blogger on Amsterdam Canal.
Me judging every last one of these freaks

4. Once I did an Irish girl anal and she shat on me.


Oh gooood, more ‘poo’. Poor Del  😪

Sex confession from Red Light District, Amsterdam.

5. I once fucked my best friend’s father on a family holiday, in the pool. DADDY 🙂


HAHAHA now this is the type of goss I can get on board with.

6. My husband and I came to the Red Light District and had a threesome with a girl from a window.

Amazing xoxo.

W.A. 😉

This was clearly the husband’s idea…

Sex Confession from Red Light District, Amsterdam.

7. I once got fingered while interviewing someone for a job.

#HR #hegotthejob


Ah, yes, the start of every good porno.

8. I once used a deodorant can to pleasure myself but the lid came off and got stuck in my vagina. My mum had to take me to hospital to get it out. I was 15.


Lol get on Love Honey mate.

9. A few weeks ago my work colleague invited me over for dinner but it ended up in a threesome with her neighbour.


Well that escalated…

10. I once bought a strap-on so I could attach it to my head and my girlfriend could sit on it.


Admiration for the inventiveness, I won’t lie.

So I’m sure you’re all VERY curious to know my sex secret????

Yeah, fat chance. TBF, will probs tell you for a blog share, FB and Insta follow. Girl gotta earn that bread to keep providing you with this GOLD content. So help me out and I’ll message you it.

Nah, hoped you enjoyed this one, if you did, don’t be afraid to hit that share button and keep updated on FB and Insta for the next one. Links below…

In a bit xo

Why Instagram Made Me Hate Petra, Jordan

Read why Instagram made me hate Petra, Jordan.

It’s not why you think…

No doubt if you follow any travel accounts on Instagram you will have seen a picture very similar to the one below. I know those photos were one of the reasons why I wanted to visit Petra, along with fulfilling a childhood dream of going to the ‘Canyon of the Crescent Moon’ – if you don’t get the reference, Indiana Jones baby, look it up. 

Travel blogger at Treasury, Petra | Al-Khazneh
The Treasury

You clicked on this link having a few ideas of what I was going to say but I’m not here to tell you that Instagram is full of lies and everything isn’t picture perfect bla bla bla because if anything Petra looked just as magical as I thought it would and came very close to all the instas I’d seen. Only thing that the pictures don’t capture is the incessant smell of camel shit wafting up your nose every ten seconds but hey, it’s literally their home so I can shut up. The reason why Instagram made me hate Petra is because it has turned people into actual arseholes. I’ll explain. 

The only boys I need in my life
Three camels in Petra, Jordan
Clock the one in the back

When you visit Petra you have the option of walking through the Siq (the long boi gorge) at night and sitting by candle light as you look up at the Treasury (the main attraction) and listen to the sweet sounds of some old guy playing the flute. Sure, this sounds nice, right? NOT FOR ME. 

Entrance to Petra through the Siq or Canyon of the Crescent Moon
The Siq

EXHIBIT A: There we are walking along at a leisurely pace, it’s pitch black, rocky and busy. People are literally racing in the dark to get to the Treasury first. IMAGINE, elderly, meek Chinese tourists are hustling and bustling past youths sprinting with tripods and DSLRs (blogger cameras). I literally felt like I was in the stampede from Lion King 1 one step away from Mufasa crushing me or a similar beast bashing into me. 

EXHIBIT B: We finally reach the Treasury and the festivities have already begun. The set-up is beautiful, candle lit, traditional rugs laid out on the floor for people to sit on. It was packed and we were two amateurs who had decided not to partake in the earlier sprint. 

We scramble to find somewhere to sit as a bedouin gestures to us to sit down. We manage to perch on the end of a rug next to a young couple. Next thing I know the couple next to me have decided to lay down practically on me and attempt to take photos forcing me off the rug and into the dirt while they indulge in some ridiculous photoshoot. IT’S PITCH BLACK YOU MORONS AND YOU’VE GOT AN ANDROID. At almost the same time, I hear an immense shushing from behind as a photographer has just run through the aisles with his tripod to try and get to the front to take a picture of an ‘uninterrupted’ landscape. STOP.

After the performance finishes, a man who works at Petra announces that he will turn the lights on so we can see the Treasury clearly. I shit you not the lights came on and the flashes from everybody’s camera at the same time were more powerful than the lights set up to illuminate a fucking temple. The man had to urge people to appreciate the moment for just two minutes and switch off all phones.

Petra Treasury at Petra by night
Taken as everyone was leaving, not during, dw

EXHIBIT C: The next day we arrive at 6am. I wanna get in early. Typical, there’s people everywhere but whatever it’s all good. There’s a less competitive air than the night before. We book a guide and he ends up showing us a short climb to a great photo spot. We get up there and there’s people having their lunch on the mat laid down specifically so people can get that once in a lifetime shot. I hang around close to them hoping they get the idea that I want to take a cute photo and leave but alas NO. I had to ask if they could move for 2 minutes to which they reluctantly agreed. 

Petra viewing point of Treasury
Just in town for a cute family pic xo

My man Hani took a quick photo and I was on my way. My point is that platforms like Instagram have made people selfish and think they are entitled to this ‘lone traveller experience’. Look through my Instagram and sure, there are photos of me alone with some pretty exciting backgrounds but they’re all real and I go early in the morning to capture these and would never think of disturbing someone else’s experience just so I can get a sick photo. The fact is that there are always people around you, there’s no such thing as discovering a ‘hidden gem’ anymore with the emergence of social media. Countless Instagrammers edit people out of their photos to give the illusion of this ‘lone traveller’ character. The reality is these tourist sites are literally there for the masses to enjoy, learn from and experience. 

What’s more is that people are risking their lives due to the pressures of “getting the gram”. I’m sure you will have heard of people falling off cliff edges or into waterfalls all because they wanted the perfect selfie. Our guide had to tell countless people not to stray off the path because of how unsafe it was. NO ONE listened. Look, don’t be an idiot and better yet, don’t be a selfish idiot. 

I’m not saying don’t take photos and I’m not even saying don’t pose 100 times to get your perfect shot or spend hours editing your photos because it’s your prerogative to do so. Just don’t be inconsiderate to others around you. I visited Petra in November of last year and this was their busiest November in history. According to The Jordan Times, tourism has risen by 49% compared to the same time last year. Petra received over 100,000 visitors in the month of November alone. Largely, in my opinion, due to the power of Instagram. 

Now, there’s many who take this kind of faux intellectual high ground and say that travel shouldn’t be about taking countless photos and parading it on social media but (and I know it sounds like I’m taking a cop out) there has to be a middle ground. 

Here’s a quote from an article in Condé Nast Traveller by David Annand called ‘How Instagram Is Ruining Travel’

At its best, travel is about curiosity, outwardness, a search for authentic encounters with the other. Photography was once a medium that enabled this: with its premium on stopping, framing, thinking, it encouraged seeing as opposed to merely looking. Lately, however, we seem to have stopped using photography like this. We’ve turned the camera around, focusing not out, but in. Photography no longer encourages seeing; it simply encourages projecting, turning the world’s great vistas into mere backdrops for the self.

David Annand, ‘How Instagram Is Ruining Travel’, Condé Nast

‘Encourage seeing as opposed to merely looking?’ Sorry hun but what? His pretentious prose is as equally unrelatable as the bouji lifestyles portrayed by the influencers he hates on. The general public aren’t as gullible or stupid as they are made out to be. Of course, people understand Instagram photos are edited, travel photos are more so works of art than they are representative of reality but the fact is I quite enjoy scrolling through my feed and looking at nice pictures whilst heavily aware my eyes probs won’t see the exact same thing in real life. 

Sure, I have my own view on what you should be getting out of travel but that’s personal to me. I can’t tell you what travelling is about but be considerate when doing so. Have fun trying to take the perfect pic for Insta but as a general rule of thumb, just don’t be a dick to those around you. 

In a bit xo

Petra theatre first century AD Nabatean Theatre
Lil ol’ me up high away from being rude to others
father and daughter musician at petra, jordan
Why does her father look like a Disney villain who’s going to kill her?
travel blogger at the monastery at Petra, Jordan
Hiked for 45 minutes through camel shit for you all xoxo
This is the monastery.
donkey and dog at petra, jordan
travel blogger instagram photo treasury at Petra, Jordan
Insta try-hard but tell me this isn’t a cool pic?

Find The Hidden Chapel At The Top Of This Mountain

You ever heard of my g, Moses? Ever wanted to climb to the place where he received the Ten Commandments from God? Ever wanted to see THE Burning Bush as described in the holy book?

Nah me neither but here’s a hike you can do that is a little off the grid and not as basic as my short stint in Yosemite.

You ever heard of my g, Moses? Ever wanted to climb to the place where he received the Ten Commandments from God? Ever wanted to see THE Burning Bush as described in the holy book? Nah me neither but here’s a hike you can do that is a little off the grid and not as basic as my short stint in Yosemite.

So, where/what am I talking about? In the depths of the Egyptian desert is a place called Saint Catherine’s Monastery; this monastery lies at the bottom of a mountain called, Mount Sinai or to locals, ‘Gebel Musa’ (Mount Moses). Bare tourists flock to the site on pilgrimage but I know you’re all in it for the Insta so here’s how to ‘do’ Mount Sinai right.

St Catherine’s Monastery is located slap bang in the centre of a region called the Sinai. A region often overlooked by the Egyptian government and not ventured to by many tourists due to its unsafe narrative. Since the revolution in 2011, Egypt’s tourism has dropped significantly and unfortunately, the Sinai isn’t an area where political turmoil has ceased.

However, the trouble is closely contained in the northern part of the area so you will actually be fine visiting. It’s for the GRAM C’MON LOSERS.

The British Government advises all but essential travel to the area in which the monastery is located. You just have to ask yourself one question: Is my blog essential? Obvs.

Lol British Government travel advice – what do they know?

Nah, but seriously, this means that most travel insurers won’t cover you so you know, be careful, don’t break a leg on the mountain, don’t get bamboozled by a camel etc.

Ok, on to the hike. Where should you stay? There are a couple of hotels (if you can call them that) near the monastery but after reading the reviews I decided not to put my body through that. One review said they had to sleep in their dirty clothes from the hike because the beds were that dirty. Niiiiiicee.

No filter I swear, Dahab is peng

So, stay in the nearby cities of Dahab or Sharm El Sheikh. If you went on a package beach holiday with your family in between the years of 2000 and 2011, you probably went to Sharm El Sheikh, or it was a strong option. It’s a beautiful beach town. Both are world renowned for their diving spots and landscapes. Kill two birds with one stone and have a nice resort to come back to after the hike.

The hotels will run tours to St Catherine’s but will rip you off. APPARENTLY, the ‘done’ thing is to start climbing at 12 (midnight) in order to catch the sunrise at the top at 5am/6am. Don’t do that.

Ask the hotel for a taxi to take you and pay for a mountain guide when you get there. Isn’t part of the enjoyment of hiking getting to see where you’re going? Also, wouldn’t you rather SEE the camel shit you’re stepping in?

Anyway, if you go any time other than Summer then you’ll be able to climb in the day. It’s not that high up and if you’re relatively alright health-wise, it won’t take you that long. Fun fact: It’s 3,750 steps up. HA HA grant me the sweet release of death now.

There are two routes up the mountain. Numero 1: The ‘Camel Path’; this takes 2-3 hours one way and is longer and shallower than the other route, which brings me onto numero 2: The ‘Steps of Penitence’; this bad boy is 1.5-2 hours one way and is more direct. FYI because numero 2 is only available to climb during the day and is a little harder, you won’t see any tourists.

Once you reach the top you’ll be greeted by a chapel built in 1934 on the ruins of a 16th century church but who cares about that right? You’ll be standing in the EXACT spot where Moses received the 10 commandments after spending 40 days and 40 nights in the desert. The EXACT spot. I’m calling bullshit but fair.

When you come back down, you’ll be able to visit the monastery (the actual attraction), a UNESCO World Heritage site – am I impressing you yet ehhh?  Well, actually, you might be able to, you might not be able to. The monastery is closed for most of the time, open from 9am-12pm on most days and only open for 1 hour on Fridays and Sundays. BUT, bribe the doorman who looks like a villain from a Disney film and you’ll get exclusive access.

I know I shouldn’t be promoting the whole bribing thing but a priest’s gotta eat too.

The monastery was built between 548 and 565, it’s one of the oldest in the world and has the oldest operating library in the world. Prior to the British Library it was home to one of the four great manuscripts that contained the entire text of the Bible.

I’m not gonna bore you with the rest of the history of the place, you can Google it or message me if you’re interested in that BUT if you are interested in doing something a little different, going somewhere a little different and experiencing something a little different, then please, go.

Egypt has so much to offer and it would be a shame if my Insta game wasn’t rivalled by at least one of you xo

Guide used: Ashraf – GREAT GUY, became my insta boyfriend for the afternoon. If you’re planning on going, message me for his deets.

Mount Sinai
View from the top
THE Burning Bush
Mount Sinai
Clock that sweat patch bitches

Egypt: a country steeped in bribery or just good tips?

Throughout this blog you’re going to see some images that are pretty cool (in my humble opinion) but I would never have been able to capture these if not for one thing, money.

As I’m sure you will have noticed I’ve stopped banging on about America now and managed to find myself in Egypt. Not spiritually, just bantering about with my parents. I’m HALF EGYPTIAN don’tcha know.

Throughout this blog you’re going to see some images that are pretty cool (in my humble opinion) but I would never have been able to capture these if not for one thing, money.

Everyone expects a backhander or are we to call that a tip? Here’s just a few things I wouldn’t have been able to do if it weren’t for this ‘tipping culture’:

• Climb on the pyramid next to a sign that says “No climbing”

• Take a picture of hieroglyphs inside a tomb

• Go behind the pyramids for that ‘wonder shot’

• Special access to the Sphinx

• Drive a bell hop’s golf buggy in a hotel

Mena House Cairo
Breakfast with a view

I knew that I wanted to go out into the desert so I could see the pyramids from afar but had no idea my guide would have to ‘tip’ everybody and their brother along the way.

We came out of the hotel and were immediately approached by a tall, rat-like man who offered us a deal — 400 LE (around £18) for a 2 hour camel ride. We took one look at the hill beside us and chose to take the man up on his offer.

He told us he would take us to where we could pick up the camels and our guide. Soon enough rat-man pulled around in his rat-mobile and we got in. In hindsight this probably wasn’t the smartest decision, getting in a random, ratty man’s car.

Nevertheless, the rat-mobile served us well as we were taken down some backstreets to our camels, Michael Jackson and Mickey Mouse. I took one look at the white one and was like nah, absolutely not, that is not a bit of me. It looked so angry so I left my mum to that demise.

After the initial struggle of getting on the camel we plodded along the ‘authentic’ route to the back of the pyramids. I have never seen so many loose animals left to their own devices, think horses, donkeys, camels, goats, dogs. Men flying past in flip flops on horses.

At one point my mum (the native Egyptian can I remind you) tried to warn a tourist not to keep touching the dogs. The woman looked at my mum like she was a stupid bitch and ignored her; she was white with dreadlocks, woven bracelets up and down her arms, patterned trousers, you know the type. Probably a travel blogger or something, typical. Have fun getting rabies ya dickhead.

Anyway, so we’re in the desert and my main man Karam says he will take “AMAZING” pictures for me, all I have to do is wait. And you know what, he was SO right. Karam became my insta boyfriend for the next two hours, whata guy (see below).

My main man Karam

We get to a good viewing point and Karam goes over to a man and hands him a note. Next, we go up close to the big boi pyramid and he tells me to climb over the railing. I look at him like are you sure hun and he simply tells me to be quick and hands another note over to two men.

I climbed up a few steps and one man started shouting at me “Enough, enough!” Karam tried to reason with him whilst still taking photos, MY G. Lastly on this tour, the Sphinx. Whilst all the other normies were crowded on the other side Karam took me round to a road alongside the Sphinx where no one was. Got these cracking pics didn’t I?!


Just kiss me bitch

We come to the end of our journey and of course, common etiquette is to tip the tour guide, right? My mum hands over a 100 LE note to which Karam questions the amount. “For both of you?” he asks, “it’s for my kids”. She apologises profusely and hands over another 100. Whilst we weren’t actively ‘tipping’ all these officials along the way, I can’t help but think whether the money was handed to them or Karam it was all for the same thing, bribery. There’s no other way to address it, it’s bribery.

Whilst the pyramids is a hot spot for tourists from all over, a lesser known place called Saqqara isn’t, yet still as active in its taking of bribes, SORRY, tips. The site contains pyramids, tombs, ruins etc. There is a man at the entrance of every tomb waiting not for you but for his money.

We picked up a nice man along the way who asked if we wanted to ride his horse, (his actual horse don’t worry) and off we went. He showed us around , gave us some interesting history and of course, again, I’d think it natural to tip this man who had spent the good portion of an hour with us.

However, I would not expect to tip the man who let me pass into the tomb. We had already paid entry into the sites, why would I need to pay again for no extra service? Mahmoud had let us take pictures in the tomb and similarly to Karam had rushed us before anyone saw. He asked us to tip the man who guarded the tomb on the way out; I realise now it was for the privilege of being able to break the rules.

It’s a lax society in some ways and not in others. Do you really think I would have been able to drive a golf buggy around the hotel if we hadn’t been tipping the bell boy well? Actually, this is a bad example, he was A KIND MAN; he probs would have let me ride it around.

My point is at every turn it seems like someone is after what they call in Arabic, “baksheesh”. Ask any Egyptian about the country’s recent history of corruption and they will condemn it. Ask them about the 100 LE they used to get a government document processed a little faster and they will condone it.

The little man forgets an act of bribery is corruption no matter on what scale. Many Egyptians are tired of the regime they’ve succumbed to but perhaps this is part of a culture ingrained so deeply that it can’t change. Who am I to hold judgement? I don’t live here. I don’t fully understand the culture. I don’t understand that maybe this is ‘just the way things work’.

Should I refuse to partake in it? On this kind of scale, is it bribery or is it really just ‘good tips’? Where does the line blur? It happens all over the world.

As always let me know your thoughts in the comments or email me, inbox me, DM me, anything you want fellas.

ALSO, keep updated on the journey by doing me a solid and following me on Instagram. Cheers xoxo

See below for details of where I stayed and who I’d recommend taking tours with :

Hotel: Marriott Mena House, Giza

Tours: Giza pyramids, the man in the picture called Karam. Straight opposite the Mena House entrance.

Saqqara, Mahmoud and his horses (message me for a phone number)

Look how ripped I look

Does it look like I’m flying?



Las Vegas: a night out alone…

What happened when 4 friends got separated on a night out in Vegas and didn’t reunite until the morning… Read about it here!

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
















**** Competition has ended ****

If you were hoping to find out what happened in Vegas then sorry but you missed out. I ran a competition on Instagram and Facebook with the prize being a personalised letter in the post detailing exactly what happened in Vegas.

Thank you to everyone who entered and well done to the lucky 6 who won and found out what happened…

Make sure to like my Facebook page and follow me on Instagram for future competitions and giveaways (links below).

Yosemite: the ultimate unfit, non-gymming, slightly chubby student’s guide to the National Park

Speaking of which, the brochures Yosemite hand out are very informative, especially on the topic of hungry animals. If you encounter a mountain lion ‘hold kids up so that they look bigger’ not sure how sound this advice is? Also, if it attacks you ‘always fight back’. What kind of advice is this?! Ffs.

Yosemite is one of America’s most impressive national parks; it’s in California’s Sierra Nevada mountains and covers 1200 sq miles. Home to the tallest waterfall in America and around 300-500 black bears, 3.5 million visitors come every year to witness its magnificent landscape.

Ok, for those of you who still don’t know what I’m talking about let me make it a bit easier. You know that massive rock on the default background of a Mac? Yeah, it’s that big boi.

So, how do you ‘do’ Yosemite? Ima try and give you a quick run down of how to complete Yosemite.

How to get there

As you’d expect the park isn’t exactly near anything big but the closest airports are San Francisco, Fresno, Merced or Oakland. You’d then need to rent a car to get to the park. We drove from San Francisco in the shitty Kia and it was alright but we ended up staying an hour and a half drive from the entrance of the park. Why did we do that? 1. The place was bouji af with a hot tub 2. Finding accommodation NEAR Yosemite is so bloody difficult.

Where to stay

There’s a bunch of ‘lodges’ near the park but they’re spenny and get booked up fast. You could camp but if you’re idiots like us then you probably won’t lock your food away properly in the designated boxes and will get eaten by a bear. (There are many warnings about this, I’m not lying, you will get eaten by a bear if you leave food out).

Speaking of which, the brochures Yosemite hand out are very informative, especially on the topic of hungry animals. If you encounter a mountain lion ‘hold kids up so that they look bigger’ not sure how sound this advice is? Also, if it attacks you ‘always fight back’. What kind of advice is this?! Ffs.

Anyway, back to our accommodation. Christine and Lee’s Airbnb hit the spot. Clean, nice beds, lil hot tub, amazing. Although they wouldn’t provide extra sheets for a sofa bed unless we paid extra – stingy gits.

The ‘Crane Suite’ as they labelled their small home was situated in Ahwahnee, population of 2,246, ayyyy buzzin’. Have you just spent 2 minutes trying to pronounce that place? Yeah same. I still don’t know how you say it but it doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that it’s a small town in Yosemite Valley with a less than comprehensive mini mart run by a guy who looks like he’s been in that exact mini mart in that exact cashier’s seat for his whole life.

Yosemite guide
Spot that crane

It’s useful to stock up on supplies if you want to take lunch with you as there’s not much in terms of eating wise in the actual park. We stocked up at said mini mart with said guy. We bought all of the food we wanted and just as we were saying goodbye the guy said in a slow, lulling Southern accent, “By the waaaay… yurr caaarrd gat declynnneed”.

I got a bit flustered and said, “Oh shit, sorry did you want me to do it again?”

-“If ya waaant” (I mean how else was I going to pay for it?)

-“Oh, yeah, sure. Let me just put it in again.”

-“Y’all travellers? I think the baaankss git a lil con-fused whin thaay see Ahwahnee, be-cause they say to thermselvess ‘Wherr the helll is thaaaaat’. So it miight take a few goesss.”

We finally left the mini mart and with it a man who was bound to still be there waiting for the sweet release of death in another 50 years. Went home, made lunch and anticipated a whole day of hiking in the park, Jesus.

What to do in the park if you’re as unfit as I am


Student guide to Yosemite
Ya girl’s unfit af

Student guide to Yosemite
Look at that sweat


Ok so, there are loads of things you can do in the park; you can swim in the lakes, you can see magnificent waterfalls, you can hike for hours, you can star gaze, you can drive to viewing points, there really is something for everyone.

If you’re like me and can’t deal with a lot of strenuous exercise because you’re lazy, then absolutely choose to do the second hardest hike in Yosemite. Sure, it was tough-ish but the views were worth it.

Don’t be put off by the word ‘strenuous’ because it really wasn’t that hard when I look back on it. We took the Four Mile Trail to Glacier Point, which is kind of misleading because it’s actually closer to 5 than 4. It has an elevation of 3,200 feet and took us roughly 6 hours roundtrip, including plenty of stop offs for pics (see below).

Guide to Yosemite
I look like such a try hard

Guide to Yosemite
Family day out

The hike is technically the second most difficult hike after Half Dome – the big ol’ rock boi I mentioned earlier. If you want to do this you’re going to have to leave super early in the morning as it’s 5000 feet above the valley floor and will take you roughly 10-12 hours roundtrip. ALSO, you need to apply for a special permit before you go, so plan ahead.


When should I go to Yosemite?

It’s always good to ask the park workers for advice on what to see when you’re there but if you’re after the glorious photos you see on postcards and plastered all over Instagram, you need to go to Yosemite in the Spring (see vid below from my visit last year).

There is no water in the valley during summertime and instead you’ll be greeted with fire risk warning signs. It’s hot. Like… really hot.

When we asked a woman at the visitor information desk for advice on the two hikes we wanted to do (haven’t mentioned the first hike as it wasn’t worth it) she looked at us like we were crazy. Tbf, she probably took one glance at Jack’s Stan smiths and thought to herself, they’re deffo going to die on the mountain.

She had one of those piercing, squeaking, nasally accents and told us that the valley was, “Burning UP”. After getting all our information, she waved us off and squawked “HAPPY HIKING LADIEEESSSS”. Oh shut up ya dickhead. WE WERE THERE ON THE ONLY DAY IT RAINED ALL SUMMER LADY, CLEARLY IT WAS COOLING DOWN. FYI the rain wasn’t enjoyable, it was like a monsoon and we all felt like we were blinded for some reason, that was weird.

All in all, absolutely go to Yosemite if you’re in California. The views look like a painting. Your pictures look like you took them in front of a green screen. It’s AMAZING.

If you’re going in the Summer definitely do the Glacier Point hike. If you’re going in the Spring, do the Nevada Falls hike like I did last year as you’ll see some great waterfalls. If you’re lazy you can also drive to Glacier Point but where’s the fun in that? Why do your make up and get great photos when you can look like a gremlin instead?

If you go to Yosemite after reading this send me a message and let me know and of course, HAPPY HIKING LADIES!

Yosemite National Park
Spot a wild Georgia

Yosemite National Park
Mate, you alright?

Yosemite National Park
There she is

Four mile trail
Chubs got up the mountain

San Francisco: one way journey on the Vomit Comet to the world’s sweatiest man

“In the same night I got touched up by a 17 year old, saw a girl chun in a bar, met America’s worst comedian and danced with the world’s sweatiest man.”

“In the same night I got touched up by a 17 year old, saw a girl chun in a bar, met America’s worst comedian and danced with the world’s sweatiest man.” – KJ

Oh San Fran you were weird. Boy, you were so weird. The city has a kind of unique, relaxed energy that makes it addictive. Every corner has something and someone different.

Now, SF has a great transport system, the BART (budget version of the tube) as well as numerous trams but given that we’re all ballers we got Ubers everywhere. The Ubers in SF were super friendly, maybe a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.

Actually, how could you possibly know what I mean? Let me explain. The first Uber driver we got was considering coming on the night out with us after he’d finished his shift. The second Uber we got gave me his number and suggested we go trapeze-ing in the woods with him the next day. “In the woods” what does that even mean? He proceeded to whip out an iPad (all whilst driving) to show me him on his trapeze in the woods. The third Uber driver was just a fun time guy who liked head-

ing towards the nightclubs. Read between the lines.

Backtracking to the first Uber, our guy Mark recommended a place called Ireland’s 32. You guessed it, it was an Irish bar, which apparently was THE place to be on a Thursday night given its crowd. The crowd was not a delight. Turns out it was the first week of ‘school’ and a bunch of underage, annoying arseholes had come out to play.

The queue wasn’t moving and everyone around us looked like they were 15. KJ was getting consistently touched up by one of said 15 year olds. I mean… it just wasn’t good.

We decided to move down the street to a quiet bar where we thought we could have a civilised drink. We thought wrong. All the people who hadn’t got into the previous bar had spilled into the next closest thing and a girl decided to throw up all over the floor. Good one dickhead.

We didn’t let it kill our spirit though, metaphorically and literally. The next bar we went to had $1 tequila shots, ayyy. When we walked into that bar a woman just outside said, “You guys look too nice for this place”. It was uncomfortable. Shots were cheap and so were the jokes being made by the stand up comedian. She is the worst comedian I have ever been in the presence of. She literally said the secret to her looking so young was the blood of young children? Someone please explain where the joke is in that?

We eventually left and treated ourselves to the actual city in a club called Monarch. The music was on point. It was like a mix of funk, electronic dance music and all played by a live band with a DJ helping things along. The dance floor was rather empty but it picked up and by the end of the night Georgia had a bald man who wouldn’t stop high pitch whistling and KJ managed to find the sweatiest man in the world (see video below). Drugs’ll do that to you lol.

Our first night had introduced us to some of the freaks who lived in SF. The daytime seemed like a different world. The next morning most of us were feeling alright bar one, Geo, who had started to feel sick. We skipped out on taking public transport again and decided to Uber to the Ferry House. Geo took a plastic bag for precaution. The morning presented another incident of getting close to an Uber driver. Geo threw up in the bag, in the back of the car hahaha.

Imagine, your mate throws up in a plastic bag and then doesn’t even decide to get rid of it. She literally walked the streets of San Fran holding a bag of liquid yellow puke. Being the good friends we are we sourced some more bags and made her dispose of the one in her hand.

And, being the BEST friends we are then made her get on a boat. In my defence I read water taxi and thought nice, big boat, ferry type thing. We called a number on a lamppost (probably should have been the first red flag) and were told Captain Tom would pick us up in about 6 minutes.

The boat arrived and it was some shitty yellow boat like the size of a big dinghy. I could see the fear in Geo’s eyes but everything worked out. Waves were choppy, no one was sick and everyone got to drive a boat across the SF bay.

Sf bay
Ahoy there Tom

Captain Jenno sails the seas

After a day of sight seeing which you don’t need me to describe to you, we chose to face a night out again. Upon leaving our Airbnb I said “Why does this house smell like literal shit?” KJ concurred the same and just as she turned the corner, the owner was there asking if we were heading out for the night. Needless to say, I don’t think their review will be the best…

Anyway, San Francisco is known for its gay scene so we couldn’t not go. Upon entering the gay bar I was presented with a glittering disco ball and sweet drinks that tasted like Haribos. KJ and I went to the all gender toilets and whilst waiting for the only cubicle a guy came in, knocked and told whoever was in there to hurry up. Four guys walked out… all with smiles on their faces and started chatting to us so casually. I honestly couldn’t tell you what was going on in that room. It was five minutes of straight excitement, shouting, endless questions but most of all, pure happiness. Who knew the toilet could be a space for such entertainment?

Yaaaaaassss queeeeeen

The gay scene got too much for us and we went to infamous nightclub Temple. Spenny drinks and a collective of English people. Why do we all swarm together in foreign countries? Long story short, the night ended at a 24h chinese/casino. All in all a successful night.

San Fran was weird and it’s difficult to explain exactly what was weird about it; it just was and I loved it.

The infamous sea lions on Pier 39


Mission Dolores Park
Mission Dolores Park

Me looking cute af at 5 in the morning

Just a nice lil view

L.A.: My Tinder Nightmare

We snuck out through the back. We’d just had a lovely night together aside from the stalker, everything was fine right? NO, again, no. While your princess (me) was asleep the tinder man sent me these messages…

Los Angeles, what a big friendly giant. Sort of but actually, not really. One thing is correct in that sentence, it was big. After my experience, friendly? Not so much.

First things first, people drive like arseholes in LA. Lost a coin toss and had to do the first drive in the rental car. Imagine never having driven an automatic 4×4 down a freeway in the pitch black– HA! I got proper stressed out and had to pull over because I thought I was going to chunder.

Covering the car up cos it’s so shit

Many other things have made me want to chunder on this trip, including the smell of our air bnb, which smelled like cat piss or cat food, who knows. Maybe don’t stay in Korea Town kids.

L.A. with its vast expanse excited us. We spent the night in our shitty kitty litter flat and were ready to face a day of sightseeing. So, what did we do? See the Hollywood sign of course. Or, try and see the Hollywood sign… multiple times… 3 times to be exact. We drove around the hills for ages looking for the trails. To be fair, we got a great pic with the sign and no one else was around (see below) so go exploring kids. Don’t be afraid to get out there and get lost.

1st attempt wasn’t bad right?

Now, if you’ve made it this far you’re probably wondering about this tinder nightmare. You’ve opened this blog for one reason only and it’s that. So, let me set the scene. It’s a Thursday night, you’re in L.A., you’re loving life after having just eaten the best Korean bbq. You spent last night in a bar that was far too edgy for you and that you were far too drunk for. You want to experience what Korea Town’s night life has to offer (the natural choice of course). What do you do? You get on tinder and ask for recommendations.

The food was AMAZING

We all agreed at the start of the trip to swipe right for most people in order to get good ‘local’ recommendations. And, it worked! For the most part…

Back to Korea town, a man messaged me on Instagram, who I could only guess found me on Tinder. I responded asking for the best unknown spot to go out to in LA. He suggested going to a speakeasy called Break Room 86 in Korea Town. Perfect, right?

No. Really, no. After drinking a solitary beer each whilst a 40 year old man tried to hit on KJ, we decided to check out Break Room. When we arrived they checked our Ids round the back of what looked like a pub’s kitchen fire door and told us to go to a woman standing just behind the door’s opening.

She took us down a corridor with lockers on either side, chairs, other random shit until we got to a vending machine. She opened the vending machine and it turned out to be a door! We walked through the door and were greeted with a swanky bar. Retro decor in the cool way, not the try hard way. A live band began to play later in the night, an ice cream van was outside and a telephone box had a secret doorway to a karaoke room!

Secret doorway

I thought wow, what a great recommendation so I messaged the man back saying ‘Break Room, cool vibe, you were right’. He then replied asking if I was there. I did not reply. He then sent me a message saying ‘Yeah I’m here, where you at?’ This is when I began to shit myself.

There we were, happily smiling the night away, playing some arcade games when the Tinder man walked in. I swiftly turned my head and pretended I was engrossed in Miss Pac-Man. I don’t know why I thought this but I thought oh, it’s fine I’ll just spend the night dodging him. That was so dumb. The venue was super small and intimate.

The time came, I bumped into him ffs. Had to go through the niceties of saying hello, how are you etc. As soon as that was over I turned straight back around to KJ, Jack and Georgia and started dancing. He stood behind us the whole time. Oh, also, can we just clarify something, HE CAME ON HIS OWN. Whilst we were LOVING the band, some of us a little too much, we had to leave.

We snuck out through the back. We’d just had a lovely night together aside from the stalker, everything was fine right? NO, again, no. While your princess (me) was asleep the tinder man sent me these messages…

HE TRIED TO VIDEO CALL ME 25 times. Needless to say I went for that block. Be careful gals. Get those glorious recommendations but do a thorough look through a profile before replying.

Ahhhhh it’s all funny isn’t it or is that borderline psycho?

If you thought that was weird, check back here for a blog on San Francisco soon because THAT was even weirder.

Jack enjoying the ol’ gamesssss
80s rock band we all wanted to “f@#!”
Living it up large on Venice Beach
Blu Jam Café (another Tinder recommendation but from a normal man)

Next stop ——-> San Francisco, California

Keep updated on the journey on Insta