Memphis: the home of nothing except Elvis

People had scooters, bikes, others were simply running for their lives with one guy screaming to his friend in a higher pitch than most little girls, “I CAN’T RUN IN THESE SHOES”.

“You’d be maaaad too if you had to say that thiiiis was your home”.

Wise, wise words from a recovering drug addict/Uber driver. Her name? Couldn’t tell you, was far too focused on her raspy southern accent and her disdain for Memphis and men, not in that order by the way.

I got the impression that her number one hate in life was men not texting her back. Why do I get that impression? She told us. Second thing she hated, Memphis. And while I don’t want to disrespect the people of Memphis, your city was so shit.

Perhaps it was coming from the previous life of the party that was Nashville but Memphis was like stepping into Nashville’s deathbed. The only thing I knew of it was that it was home to Graceland and it seemed as if that was the only thing it was home to.

So, only go to Memphis if you are an Elvis Presley fanatic, are in the area or it’s a stop over for you. Even as an indifferent fan of Elvis, I have to say that Graceland was pretty cool, the tour is good and it’s just a cool house. Cool is definitely the word to describe everything there. Ahhhh Elvis, what a guy.

Elvis’ COOL pool table
Elvis’ COOL dining room
Elvis’ COOL house

As for my house or rather my air bnb, not so cool. We stayed with a night nurse and his dog. His house was cute from the outside and every house in the neighbourhood looked like it was part of a film set. Inside however, not so pristine. I was just there eating my quesadilla when a cockroach crawled across the floor, niceeeee.

Air bnb looks nice from the outside…

The area had a weird, eerie feel to it. No one was around and nothing was there. It was recommended to us that we visit the massive pyramid in the centre of Memphis. What was inside this pyramid you ask? A massive shop. Classic Americans. And, not just any shop, the world’s biggest Bass Pro Shop; they sell a range of fishing, hunting and boating gear. Lol, the South.

To be fair, the shop is an EXPERIENCE. It’s also a hotel and restaurant with a viewing platform at the top. Pay something like $10 and go up to the top and have a panoramic view of Memphis. The restaurant looked peng but unfortunately we had already indulged in what looked and tasted like a prisoner’s meal at Graceland.

Have you seen anything more Southern?

All in all, Memphis just seemed to be empty; it was weirdly quiet. We had been told to walk down Beale Street, THE street in Memphis. Whilst it was filled with characters including, bikers, trucker guys and alcoholic women, I wouldn’t walk down it again.

Having taken a Greyhound for 4 hours after getting a solid 2 hour sleep the night before, we were in no mood for an even more dismal place than what our heads were already in. We sat in a park for a bit and suddenly saw a rush of people running from all over the place. Turns out Jailbreak had hidden hundreds of dollars all over Memphis and were releasing coordinates throughout the day as to where the money was hidden. People had scooters, bikes, others were simply running for their lives with one guy screaming to his friend in a higher pitch than most little girls, “I CAN’T RUN IN THESE SHOES”. An entertaining spectacle but still didn’t make up for the fact that all in all Memphis was shit.

One thing I would say is definitely ask your Uber drivers for recommendations wherever you go because they are the best for it. If we didn’t ask, we would never have gone to the Pyramid and would have had to have found something else to occupy ourselves for a couple of hours… god.

So folks, avoid Memphis and stay tuned for the next blog somewhere which is set not to disappoint.

Next stop———> New Orleans, Louisiana

Author: Just Jenny Lamb

21-year-old writer giving you that witty prose with a dash of Essex sass.

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